Stay at the Table
Don’t walk away from conflict in relationships.
If I have learned one thing about forming Godly relationships, it is that we should not give up. We need to stay at the table.
Here is what I mean by that.
Imagine you are enjoying some fellowship over a meal with friends or family. Someone says something that is construed as offensive or abrasive. There is always someone who wants to get up from the table and walk away. Or, there is someone who wants to be combative or to retaliate. Both responses will drive someone to get up from the table. Staying at the table means that instead of letting our emotional drivers motivate us, we find a way to stay put and work the issue out.
When you commit to working issues out instead of walking away you might find:
- There was a misunderstanding that led to the offense that is easy to clear up
- The “offensive” comment came from a place in the person that needs to be realigned. Perhaps something you can help that person with.
- There is an opportunity for you to develop your own thoughts and opinions and perhaps grow from the exchange
When you decide to get up from the table you may suffer a missed opportunity to:
- Heal broken relationships
- Be a godly witness
- Grow as a person
- Develop God-inspired ideas about a particular situation or issue
But when you decide to stay at the table and work an issue out you will find that:
- You have more in common than you originally thought
- Your relationship is more valuable than the conflict
- You will grow as a result of resolving the conflict
- Others may be edified by working through the issue
I have experienced many conflicts in work, family, church, and friendship. If there is one rule that I apply, it is to stick it out, stay at the table and see what God is doing in each person through the conflict.
As Christians, our God is a God of reconciliation. He has the power and desire to heal broken wounds, find resolution, and cause relationships to flourish.
In life, the more comfortable you are in uncomfortable conversations and situations, the more successful and fruitful your relationships will be; both for you and others.
Be humble, be ready to learn, be ready to teach, and stay at the table in your relationships.
