I’m on the Phone. Speak Up.
My wife and I have an arrangement. I drop off my daughter at school, on my way to work. My wife picks her up in the afternoon. It works pretty well.
Each morning, I take my first grader to school and notice ever more familiar faces of parents and children we walk past, on our way to her classroom. There are about a dozen or more parents that I see each week as we walk past each other on our way in or out.
After noticing that some of the parents refused to say “Hi” to me (Two ladies even looking right at me when I greet them in passing, then looking away without saying a word) I decided to play a little experiment that you may find interesting.
One day, about two months ago, I dropped off my daughter at her classroom and my phone promptly rang. On my way out of the school yard, I passed by the usual faces. But I noticed much more receptivity to my acknowledgement of them. As we were passing, I would nod in their direction, with the phone to my ear. People who would normally give me a guarded response or none at all were now smiling and nodding back or saying “Hi” in an oddly jovial manner.
At this point, you might be wondering, “How rude are these people?” And I gotta say, it’s bizarre how rude these people are. Maybe they’re rude because it’s morning, or maybe they find me offensive in some way. Whatever the case, the parents are standoffish, to say the least. (Disclaimer: there are a couple of very nice individuals who I am forming a bit of a “walk by” relationship with. They’re good.)
Getting back to my experiment…
After noticing this odd turn of events, I started faking calls on my way out of the school, nodding graciously to people as I passed. Without a doubt, I receive much more of a positive reception when I’m “on the phone”.
While this is more like a high school prank than a scientific experiment, something happened today that confirmed my theory. While walking out today, I had a legitimate phone call to make (no faking today). But, since it was someone I know well, I was able to also perceive my surroundings. There are two ladies in particular who refuse to greet me almost every morning. They are so rude that that it is almost comical. At one point, I’ve even laughed out loud at the audacity of their ignorance. However, today, it all changed.
When walking out, on my real call, I walked past both women who have offered me more rejection than I received in all my years of junior high. But today, both women returned my nod and wave with a “Hello” and (gasp!) a smile! A major breakthrough. Tomorrow, I will greet them again, but without my phone, to see what happens.
But I wonder, why are people so much more warm and friendly when I’m on the phone? Is it becasue they feel like the phone is their “protection” from a real conversation breaking out? Or does the phone represent a barrier to social intimacy created by and needed for our emotionally removed society?
What do you think? Why was my “test group” so much more friendly to me when I was on the phone than when I am not? Have you had similar experiences, noticing social barriers?
